Looking back on this essay, I realize I've been pretty hard on my fellow DVD geeks. That's okay, though -- they deserved it. And I had to get all this frustration out of my system. But I feel the need to wrap this up by offering some measure of peace and reconciliation.

My intent here has not merely been to condemn and disdain DVD freaks for their immature and materialistic ways. What I want to do is give them a wake-up call. My friends, my fellow disciples of the DVD, I beseech you: look at this wonderful hobby of ours, and look at all the cool things happening with this amazing home video format, and think about how lucky we are. And the next time you feel like complaining about some little thing that isn't quite perfect, stop and think about all you've got to be thankful for.

I'm immensely grateful for DVD. I'm so happy to be able to watch movies in such a magnificent format any time I want to. I've got every episode of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" on DVD, and all the Python movies, allowing me to retire my cruddy old deteriorating VHS tapes recorded off TV. I've got Anna Nicole Smith on DVD, and Brazil, and Raising Arizona, and most of my favorite movies. I've got a region-free DVD player that lets me play discs from around the world, like concerts by Madness and Paul Weller. DVD has introduced me to some remarkable classics that I had never seen before, such as Seven Samurai and Gimme Shelter. I don't have Star Wars on DVD, but one day I will.

Those are the things I'm thankful for, and every DVD freak has his or her own personal list of reasons to be cheerful, undoubtedly. Let us all be happy and content together.

And it's not just a matter of universal love and brotherhood -- it's our own self-preservation that's at stake here. Every DVD geek and DVD freak must stand united against the common foe who threatens everything we hold dear: the dreaded Joe Six-Pack.

Now that DVD players are available for under $100, and with the huge demand for the DVD-enabled PlayStation 2, the average consumer is about to overrun our little playground. The mass audience could drag DVD down into the morass of mediocrity... unless we act. It's up to us, as the veteran standard-bearers, to teach the newbies about the proper appreciation of excellence in DVD, and show them the folly of pan-and-scan and the bliss of pristine anamorphic transfers. In short, we must turn the great unwashed masses into DVD geeks like us.

If we don't, then we might really have something to whine about.