When the Monica Lewinsky scandal exploded in 1998, most of the nation was outraged and appalled. But myself, I was enraptured and infatuated. This hot little fat brunette who rocked the White House instantly became one of the select few female celebrities who matches my definition of sexy. Mr. Clinton, you the man.
I don't morally condone all the notorious deeds Monica's done, and after watching her Barbara Walters interview, I really believe she's some kind of psycho. But who gives a shit? Her cute face and big sweet ass are more than enough to make me forget all that other crap. To all the comedians and columnists and smug smart-asses who have ridiculed the "tubby temptress" as some sort of ugly hog that no one but Bubba could possibly find attractive, I'd like to offer a hearty "Fuck you!"
Sure, Monica's fat, but she's a supreme babe-o-licious plumper who can get an internship at Lard Biscuit Enterprises anytime she wants to apply. You can wear those thong panties, honey, but we won't need no cigars.