Who's up for some uncensored Anna Nicole Smith? Lions Gate Home Entertainment and E! Entertainment Television Nov. 4 will release The Anna Nicole Show: Season One, allowing fans to watch her in all her unbleeped glory on DVD.

The three-disc set ($34.99, prebook Oct. 6) includes every cheeky episode from E!'s highest-rated show and arrives in an uncensored version only. That's good news for DVD fans who prefer these versions over rated or censored options, according to VideoScan data. DVD extras for the set are still in the works, said Lions Gate EVP of home video sales Ron Schwartz. But -- much like the buxom Anna herself -- they will be plentiful. The final set will likely include behind-the-scenes and never-before-seen footage, Schwartz said, who added that E! has given Lions Gate "unprecedented" access to a ton of material.

The key for fans of the show will be getting to see more of Anna, "uncensored and unmasked," said Mark Sonnenberg, EVP of entertainment for E! networks. "There's so much more to see besides just the little snippets of what aired on E! Having seen a lot of the uncensored moments, I can only imagine what a set like this will mean to an Anna fan and a collector."

Lions Gate is already in the TV-on-DVD market through its NBC partnership, with DVD releases from such TV shows as Saturday Night Live and Will & Grace, but this is the first release the supplier has handled in conjunction with E!. "It's a great opportunity," Schwartz said. "We certainly hope there are more and more opportunities to work with them." The release is E!'s first foray into the DVD market. "We had multiple bids, but we went with Lions Gate for a number of reasons," said Sheila Johnson, E!'s VP of business development. "First of all, they have very strong distribution; they have good experience in the TV-to-DVD business, especially with current titles like Will & Grace; and lastly they've really shown that they share the same passion for the show as we do."

Believe me, I could teach those network executives a thing or two about sharing their alleged passion. There's still time to enlist me to record the commentary tracks...

For more information on the WBs' tunes that have appeared on The Anna Nicole Show, check out my Soundtrack section.

The crappiest thing is that Showtime is scheduling the debut of the film in the same time slot as a new episode of The Anna Nicole Show. What the hell were they thinking? Isn't everybody who's interested in their shitty little documentary going to be watching that instead? Are they really such assholes at Showtime that they want to hurt her ratings? Anyway, it's cable, so they'll be showing it again. And again. And again.

All this great stuff is just about enough to make up for the absence of the deleted scene clips they used to post on the site after every episode. Hey E!, what the hell happened to those scenes? Hopefully you're saving them for the DVD sets, right?

Aieghlans tries to figure out what it is about her that makes so many people have intensely negative reactions, and he astutely points out that their personal hangups and misconceptions are more to blame than Anna Nicole's actual flaws and shortcomings. He's not entirely on target in his analysis -- like most critics, he equates her weight gain to a tragic loss of beauty, when many of us consider her to be more beautiful now than ever. But I'll forgive this prejudice of his in light of his wealth of other rare insights. If you can endure the hideously intrusive pop-up ads and other horseshit on Reality News Online, the essay is well worth a read. Here's a couple of notable excerpts:

...Well, you might not agree that she has accomplished anything at all, but it just so happens that Anna Nicole Smith has, indeed, accomplished something no one else has. She has a steady job as the subject of a reality television show -- the most popular show on the E! entertainment cable channel. She is the only person in United States -- and maybe in the world -- to have done this. [Ozzy] Osbourne's show is about his family, not just him. No other reality show exists about just one person. Even The Bachelor is about dating, not about the guy's life. ...

The depth of feeling on the part of many viewers in response to this show is great and profound. Anna Nicole Smith is, actually, willing to be herself. This is something that many of us are not brave enough to be in our ordinary lives -- much less on national television. Love Anna Nicole or hate her, you must admit that this is a rare thing to see on television.

Actually, one of the questions has an erroneous "correct" answer, so you just have to pick the closest response. Big bonus points to anyone who can tell me which question that is.

Special thanks to Karen at eCRUSH for her kind support of The Anna Nicole Show and my site.

I am on Cloud Nine. This somewhat unlikely renewal of my favorite TV show feels like such a vindication, like a big damn middle finger right in the faces of all the critics and the cynics and the haters of fat chicks who were wanting so badly for Anna Nicole to go away. Well, assholes, she ain't that east to get rid of! Anna Nicole is easily the most fascinating and sexy celebrity figure in the world today, and her show is genuinely entertaining, and yes, a lot of people actually do watch it. So the ratings trickled off after the mega-hyped premiere, but it remains E!'s highest rated series, week after week. I'm so glad I won't have to feel depressed after the season finale. There's more of this story that needs to be told, and we're getting at least 13 more chapters of it. God bless you, E! And thank you, Howard, Kimmie, Daniel, and my sweet darlin', most of all.

Now the only other thing I need is the announcement of a Season One DVD box set, including deleted scenes "too hot for TV"!

There's also a season-in-review poll where you can enter to win "one of five Anna Prize Packs," which comprise a bobblehead, an Anna Nicole Show T-shirt (hot damn!) and an Anna Nicole notebook. So let us rejoice, for there is more merchandising crap on the way! My wallet is ready to empty for anything E! throws at us. This "poll" is rather peculiar because it says you have to answer correctly to win a prize, but the questions are all opinion questions. Plus, the questions refer to things that haven't aired yet, so no one can properly answer it until we've seen the November finale.

Say, that reminds me... the verbiage from E! has been referring to that landmark episode as the "first season finale," not the finale of the series. Could it be that there will be... more? Is there life after Episode 13? Stay tuned!

Do you miss me?
Do you want to kiss me?
Do you love me?
More than all the raindrops in the water
And all the fishies in the sea?

Hopefully, Triumph will be too distracted by Sugar Pie's sexual charms to be excessively mean to her mama. After all, that pet psychic lady on this week's episode said that Sugar Pie needed a boyfriend, so this may be her chance to get lucky. If Conan O'Brien does a backstage report on the show, I'm betting we'll get to see Triumph humping Sugar Pie. Or vice versa.

The flamboyant decorator had plenty of kind words, understandably enough, for the lucrative blonde client who has made him a household name. In particular, I was sincerely impressed with this insightful comment that concisely sums up the overly lonesome mission driving the very fan site you're looking at:

"Anna's doing the show for her fans, not the critics. She's letting us into her life so we can walk in her high heels for a day for fantasy and fun and to see how a celebrity lives. How can you review someone's life anyway? We all have the good and bad about ourselves, and we all make mistakes."

"The only blowup I had was with Howard Stern--the coattail rider. Howard needs not to speak for Anna Nicole Smith. Howard should keep his little wily, hissy trap [shut]. He should only speak in the courtroom when he's asked to do so, because lemme tell you something, honey, I'm the teacher here. I'm the decorator. I am the judge. You don't speak unless the judge is asking you to speak. ... He's a little attorney, coattail rider, barmaid, dog-shit picker-upper or whatever he is. ... If you look at the big picture, Howard is hanging on to Anna's ankles... and mine. Howard's the gold digger--not Anna. Print that!"

On the way to the studio she heard Stern and his cohorts harping on how fat she is, so she was pissed off by the time she came on the air. Stern's gang had a pool going to guess her weight, and he immediately began pressuring Anna Nicole to get on a scale for them. Even though Stern offered her several thousands of dollars in cash and gifts if she would weigh herself, Anna Nicole categorically refused to play along. She did an admirable job of standing up for herself and not letting these cretins humiliate her.

When Stern told her his outlandish estimate that she must weigh 300 pounds, she laughed and told him that was was ridiculous. He mentioned that the lowest guess in their office pool was 250, and Anna Nicole conceded that that was only about 20 pounds off. So Howard asked if she was 230, and she said that was about right. (That's about what I would have guessed, myself.) The Stern crew accused her of lying. the most rude being the obnoxious Stuttering John. Anna Nicole's hopeful suitor Benjy sprang to her defense and threatened to beat the crap out of John a couple of times. Impressed with Benjy's valor, Anna Nicole promised to go out to dinner with him.

In one item of note aside from the relentless weight badgering, Stern asked Kimmie about her relationship with Anna Nicole. Kim said that she is not gay, but when Howard asked if she would be receptive to sexual advances from her boss, Kim just smiled, thought it over, and she might like that. So there you go.

And I'd just like to say a hearty "Fuck you!" to Howard Stern, Stuttering John, and all the Stern ass-lickers, except for Benjy, who is the one decent human being of the bunch. I hope Anna Nicole doesn't return to that slimy cesspit again.

Anna Nicole Smith's late husband won't be making any more cameos on her reality show. On a recent episode of the E! series, the plus-size model toted around an urn containing the ashes of J. Howard Marshall, the elderly tycoon to whom she was briefly married. Ê

E. Pierce Marshall, a son of Smith's deceased hubby who fought a nasty legal battle with the model for the Marshall estate, "hit the ceiling" after the broadcast, says an E! insider.

"The Marshall family was upset," says the source, "but the actual request to delete the scenes came from Anna's lawyer, Howard K. Stern. The way it was told to me, there was [a] threat of legal action against Anna and so Stern wanted the scenes out."

In the future, says the source, if the episode that was already shown is rebroadcast, the urn will be edited out or digitally altered. [The urn was still there in the September 1 Anna-Thon, so apparently that was the final time Episode 2 will be shown in its original state. -- D. Trull]

An E! spokeswoman referred calls to Stern, who would say only, "I'm not going to comment on that. Basically, she wants to get on with her life."

Perhaps by coincidence, the magazine's layout for the article used the same Anna Nicole photograph that graces the home page of this web site. Less coincidentally, the September 3 National Enquirer ran a compilation of wacky quotes from Anna Nicole, about half of which were lifted wholesale from my Wit and Wisdom of Anna Nicole page. I'm proud to be such a trendsetter for annanicology in the national press.

Much to my surprise, this turned out to be one of the best interviews Anna Nicole has ever given. She was sharp, funny and charming, and represented herself far more admirably than she typically does in a TV interview, without even having Howard by her side. Anna Nicole truly had it together. And she looked ravishing as well, in an elegant black and white dress.

It was nice to see Leno apologize and extend an olive branch after all his nasty recent jokes. I don't know if he was just being weaselly, but he said something very eloquent: in these times when there are so many horrible things going on in the world, it's good to have someone that we can laugh at, like Anna Nicole, just in fun and without real malice. In a very classy way, Anna Nicole behaved as if she were above all the petty jokes and put-downs. She shrugged it off and admitted, "I am funny!" This is the attitude I wish people would have toward the show, instead of condemning it and her for being worthless trash. Leno's audience seemed to be on her side, too, and not just because of the applause signs. Maybe this is the turning of the tide for Anna Nicole's public image, from scandalous burnout to America's wacky sweetheart. Who knows, maybe she'll emerge as the Lucille Ball of the 21st century!

Well, maybe not. But at least this was the first time I've ever enjoyed The Tonight Show since Johnny left.

The second outing of E! Entertainment Television's new half-hour reality series "The Anna Nicole Show" logged a 3.0 household rating Sunday, which corresponds to 3.4 million viewers.

That marks a 27% drop from the series' premiere, which posted a 4.1 rating -- the second-highest number for a basic cable series premiere and the best-ever mark for an E! program.

The 3.0 household rating is still a 300% improvement over the 0.7 household rating E! has been averaging in the Sunday 10-10:30 p.m. period.

Meanwhile, the second episode of the series, which chronicles the everyday endeavors of Anna Nicole Smith ( news - web sites), climbed a notch in the adults 18-34 demographic to a 3.7 rating -- the highest-ever number for the cable network in the young demo.

The 3.7 rating in 18-34 was up from a 3.5 in the category for the series premiere. The adults 18-49 delivery also stayed steady at a 2.7 rating vs. 2.8 for the premiere.

A former Playboy Playmate, a black poodle and a pink-haired assistant proved a powerful combination for E! Entertainment Television as the network's "The Anna Nicole Show" premiered to record numbers Sunday.

The debut of the half-hour reality series, which chronicles the life of Anna Nicole Smith, her dog Sugar Pie and her entourage, posted a 5.5 overnight rating in Nielsen media Research's 55 metered markets. If the numbers hold up when the final ratings are released today, "Anna Nicole" would rank as the highest-rated series premiere on basic cable.

For comparison, MTV's breakout hit "The Osbournes," which gave the E! executives the inspiration to do "Anna Nicole," premiered to a 2.8 household rating in the spring. In June, USA Network's "The Dead Zone" logged a 4.7 household rating, the highest ever for a drama series debut on basic cable.

The 5.5 rating for "Anna Nicole" is the highest ever for an E! show, including the cable channel's trademark pre-Oscar coverage. It also dramatically improved E!'s performance in the Sunday 10-10:30 p.m. time period, where the cable network has averaged a 0.7 rating.

The show was most popular with Smith's home Texas crowd, with Houston ranking as the top market with 9.7 rating. Los Angeles averaged an 8.7, while New York posted a 6.6.

But Howard's endorsement wasn't the big news of the interview. Let's keep things PG-rated, and just say a Stern crony named Benjy volunteered to remedy Anna Nicole's lament that she hasn't been with a man in two years. Anna Nicole was fairly receptive to his bold offer, and ended up inviting him back to her hotel suite. The cameras followed. For non-Stern fans, Benjy is about 35, short, balding, average-looking, with a big gut. Nevertheless, Anna Nicole kept saying how cute and how sweet he was. They sat together on a sofa and did a bit of making out on camera.

I found this completely spellbinding. I guess most people would just say, "My God, what a giant slut she is for letting that loser touch her," but I felt no objections at all. I saw Benjy as my avatar, an everyman representing all the average guys like me who adore Anna Nicole. He was granted admission to the holy land, and through him I vicariously fulfilled a grand fantasy. If Benjy can make out with the Goddess, there is hope for us all! I am Benjy too!

I believe this story is bullshit tabloid journalism, full of unfounded conjectures based on a tiny kernel of fact. It's true that there will be a nutritionist and personal trainer on the show, but it seems they have been brought in to create interesting "bits" for the show, something for Anna Nicole to react to. Any good drama requires some sort of conflict, right? I do not believe E! is forcing Anna Nicole to lose weight or else. It's nonsense to report that the network hopes she'll lose weight before the show airs, because they've been filming the show for the past three months.

Further complicating matters, in July Anna Nicole backed out of competing in an eating contest at a Las Vegas buffet that had been announced for the show. This further fueled speculation that Anna Nicole has been coerced into a strict diet, but I'm inclined to believe the report that her teeth were hurting too much from recent dental work for her to eat competitively. We should wait for the series to air before we start jumping to conclusions, but I can confidently assert already that The Anna Nicole Show will not be turned into a weekly weight-loss infomercial.